Morndas, 17th of Last Seed
Ugh… Felix’s head hurts, those Imperial soldiers hit Felix’s head very hard. Felix awoke, stripped of all his belongings by theiving Imperial soldiers and wearing dirty rags, in a cart going down a bumpy road, and Felix was not alone.
The first prisoner, Felix would later learn his name is Ralof of Riverwood, is a Nord. He was one of the cloaked people felix was going to ask for directions from. The second prisoner was a horse theif named Lokir of Rorikstead, he wasn’t as brace as Ralof seemed to be. The third prisoner was a man named Ulfric Stormcloak, the rightful High King of Skyrim, according to Ralof.
- The other prisoners
It’s just Felix’s luck to visit a place in the middle of a civil war. Apparently, this Ulfric killed the old High King and his group, the Stormcloaks, are fighting the Imperial Legion, being led by someone named Tulius. And apparently a group called the Thalmor are involved. Felix didn’t have much time to ponder these Thalmor before we were ordered out of the cart by an imperial captain and an imperial Nord named Hadvar.
To list or not to list...
Hadvar asked Felix who he was. Felix answered with his name but this Hadvar only seemed interested in his list and told the Captain that Felix was not on it.
Who am I? I'm Felix Nine-Lives, you imperial Troll-humper...
Apparently, the Captain did not care if Felix was on her list. Hadvar, who apparently thinks that all khajiit are from some place called Elsweyr said he would send Felix’s remains there.
What do you mean, remains?
Wait a minute what does he mean remains?
Oh, that’s what he means. Felix does not like this one little bit. Felix is just visiting, execution seems bad for tourism in Felix’s opinion. Someone should really replace this Tulius fellow.
Not on Skyrim's Tourism Board
Felix is getting quite nervous about this. Imperial “justice” seems a bit permanent and messy. Old Thurm never mentioned this sort of nonsense in any of his stories about Skyrim. This whole trip is feeling like a really bad idea right about now…
Uh-oh, Felix was hoping that would take a bit longer. Felix will skip Felix’s turn, thank you very much… Well if you insist, Felix will meet his fate bravely.
Not my turn, not my turn, damn!
Felix hopes Mordhalia is watching and hopes she sends some help for Felix because Felix really does NOT want to be seperated from Felix’s body. Wait, what was that noise? Mordhalia IS listening and she sent a DRAGON! Felix has a dragon to protect Felix. HA HA!!!
Felix was wrong. Dragon was not friendly to Felix at all. Felix was seperated from Ralof when Felix had to jump from a tower to the top floor of what used to be an inn. Normally Felix would not have followed Hadvar, but Felix’s hands were figuratively and actually tied.
After many narrow escapes from the dragon Hadvar and Felix ran into Ralof again. Felix decided to follow Ralof because Ralof hadn’t tried to seperate Felix’s head from Felix’s body.
Not the best time to argue.
Ralof and Felix ran into the sturdious building we could find and found Ralof’s friend, Gunjar. Ralof told Felix to take Gunjar’s belongings after he cut Felix’s bindings.
Alas, poor Gunjar, I didn't know him at all.
Thank you for the clothing Gunjar, Felix will use them well. Felix also used Gunjar’s ax well, by killing that very angry imperial Captain. One would think she’d have better things to do than kill poor Felix with a great big flying lizard destroying a town.
- Thank the Nine Gunjar was my size.
After we used the Captain’s key to open a locked gate, Ralof and Felix made our way down into the bowels of the keep. We were nearly killed by a cave in because of that stupid dragon. One day Felix will give that dragon what for…
Not that way...
Felix and Ralof had a bit of a fight in some sort of imperial torture chamber.
Definitely not a hotel...
Felix practiced Felix’s lockpicking skills in case Felix was a victim of the obviously flawed imperial legal system. Felix also found some things in one of the cells, including a mage, his spell book, some gold, and potions. Felix took everything but the mage, he was dead.
No cat-burglar jokes please...
We ran into a few more imperials but put them down easily enough. Felix feels a bit bad about all this killing, but as Old Thurm used to say: “Sometimes you just have to kill a Troll-humper.” Or a great big spider.
"Sometimes you just have to kill a Troll-humper." Or a great big spider.
Felix searched the spiders and their lair. If Mordhalia taught Felix anything, it’s that you can use just about anything for alchemical purposes, including spider eggs.
Anyone else thinking "kill it with fire?"
As we got further into the cave we ran across a sleeping bear. Ralof suggested sneaking past it. Felix thought sneaking was a good idea.
Sneaking is a good idea
But Felix would not sneak past the bear. Felix would sneak into a better position to kill the bear. Because, as old Thurm used to say, “Sleeping bears can wake up, dead bears can’t.” Old Thurm had many helpful sayings.
Now it's really sleeping.
Including “Don’t go into caves when you don’t have to, and leave as soon as you can.” Ralof and Felix put that advice into action when we found the exit.
Felix’s first view of Skyrim proper as a free khajiit was breath-taking. Ralof suggested we split up and for Felix to meet him and his sister Gerdur in a town called Riverwood.
Free at last, free at last, thank the Nine, Felix is free at last!
Felix decided that following the signs would be a good idea. Getting lost is what got Felix into all this trouble in the first place. Felix could walk down the road and pick ingredients for potions along the way. Stop and smell the Thistle, if you will.
Following the road led Felix to an interesting sight, three carved stones arranged in a semi-circle. Each stone had a hole through it at the top and strange carvings that looked like the constellations.
What are those?
Troll-humper! That was scary! All Felix did was touch the stone with the Warrior constellation on it and a bright light burst in the center of the hole and a beam of light shot out of the top like an arrow. Felix will not be touching one of those again any time soon. Felix should also note that Felix feels a bit more warrior-y ever since touching that stone. Coincidence? Probably…
Troll-humper, never touch those again!
While standing amongst the stones, Felix spotted a female wood elf down by the river. A quick hop, skip, and a splash later and Felix was in the hunter’s, more like poacher’s, camp. She was kind of cute but a poor conversationalist, all she wanted to do was barter and talk about poaching.
Pointy-ears? Check. Sexy? Check. Conversation? Lacking...
Felix spent some time catching dragonflies and fishing. Felix caught a few bugs but only one salmon. Felix was hungry so Felix ate the raw salmon, some bread from Helgen, and washed it down with alto wine. After Felix’s meal Felix heard wolves howling. Felix spotted the animals, dropped into a crouch as Thurm taught Felix, and put them both down with arrows. Felix swam across the river to skin the wolves.
Now to skin you... That's not creepy at all.
After skinning the wolves and finding Felix’s bearings, Felix jogged to Riverwood. It was getting dark and Felix needed to meet up with Ralof. Along the way Felix found a strange glow-y, singing plant, Felix thinks Mordhalia called them nirnroots.
Glow-y, singing plant? Definitely picking that.
Eventually Felix came to the entrance of Riverwood. Which was good because Felix was sleepy. Thourough searching back in Helgen and the cave had left Felix with about one-hundred and fifty septims. If there was an inn Felix would be able to afford a room.
Aptly named little village...
On Felix’s way into town Felix heard voices, one was the now familiar voice of Ralof. Felix found Ralof with Gerdur, his sister, and Hod, his sister’s husband. They talked about the dragon and Ulfric. Then Gerdur surprised Felix by giving Felix a key to her house.
Old and New friends?
Now that’s what Felix calls friendly. Of course, she also asked Felix to tell Jarl Balgruuf of Whiterun about the dragon, which Felix promised to do, but ”A promise delayed, is not a promise broken,” so Felix would get to it, later. Felix would stick around Riverwood for a while. Felix will have to find a job and replace his lost equipment.
Hod and Gerdur apparently run the lumbermill, Felix will ask Hod for work in the morning. Felix was also still a bit hungry so Felix ate some raw venison that Gerdur gave Felix, a potato, and drank some more wine. With a full tummy Felix just wants to sleep. So Felix followed Ralof, Gerdur, and Hod home and went to bed.